Tuesday FourCast: Week 9

I've given this week's FourCast a commercial theme for the most part. While we all look forward to Super Bowl commercials, the current commercials (especially during the Presidential Campaigns) are the type of mindless drivel that could drive us all insane. Anyway...I'll kick it off with the worst of them all.

1) Saved By Zero

I now understand the annoyance level of Terrell Owens (sorta). Watching college and NFL football over the last three weekends has caused me to hear the all too familiar jingle on the Toyota commercials. I have even discussed the fact that the cars in the commercial are animated, and the fact that the Prius doesn't get that kind of financing because the market is hot for them and Toyota wants to put it to Prius buyers with their financing. Regardless, the commercial is driving me insane. Anyway...T.O. seems to be dealing with the same kind of frustration when it comes to his QBs. Brad Johnson was nothing short of...well...short on a lot of his noodle-armed passes. Brooks Bollinger showed his true value on his first play (an interception). The Cowboys are in shambles, and while the return of Romo would make T.O. less frustrated, there seems to be more to fix on that team than just the QB situation. Some DBs that can cover would be a start.

2) Can you hand your team to a man who has never been in charge of anything?

While McCain's Campaign aired this commercial way too much, I think Curt Menefee made a great observation in his live editorial on Fox NFL Sunday which asked the same question. There are too many teams out there that are run by non-football people. I'm interested to know which team he mentioned is now run by a former blogger. It makes me feel qualified to run a team. He also mentioned that these non-football people running these teams have made knee-jerk reactions to the media and the criticism of their respective teams. While I'm not going to complain about how well they're doing now, as a Redskins fan I have seen this with Dan Snyder and Vinny Cerrato. They are not football guys, and it's taken them a while to get to the current success that they're having. How many teams are dealing with this issue? I would say Oakland is a pretty good place to begin.

3) $5 Foot Long

A bargain, right? Except when you realize you just saved $0.19 on your sub. Want a real bargain? Look no further than the Titans who just finished up a perfect first half of the season. They entered this season with nearly $18 million in cap space (6^th lowest cap figure in the league). In my opinion, several factors lead to the 8-0 Titans. First and foremost, you start with Jeff Fisher. He has been the head coach of the franchise since 1994 (replacing Jack Pardee late in the season). The defensive system has been intact since that time, and while the offense has changed somewhat over that time, the overall structure remained. At the QB position, they actually have a real QB playing. Kerry Collins has solidified that offense with his ability to make reads (better than Vince Young, at least) and complete passes. Finally, you add Chris Johnson to the mix, who is everything Chris Henry was supposed to be at RB for this franchise. Many jumped on the Titans on draft day for taking Johnson so early. The Titans are having the last laugh with Johnson, who is leading the AFC in rushing. If they can secure homefield advantage over the next 8 weeks, they could find themselves playing for the Lombardi.

4) This is a Test

For the next sixty days, the "team" known as the Lions will conduct a test of the Emergency QB System. This is only a test. However, should Daunte Culpepper show us anything during that time, he could resurrect his career (sort of). One of the questions is whether the Lions are the right team for him. A few things don’t make a lot of sense. Culpepper (as Sum would put it) is no spring chicken. Drew Stanton was about to be handed the reigns this year. The Lions are in rebuild mode. I don’t think I’ll be too far out on a limb to predict that this union between Culpepper and the Lions won’t end in any kind of great success.

Tuesday FourCast: Week 7

Week 7 came and week 7 went. Some things returned to “normal,” such as the Giants winning. Other things went even more haywire than before, such as the Cowboys self-imploding (or is that self-bloweding up, Emmitt?) even further. An eloquent sports writer would delve into such complicated matters. Unfortunately, you’re stuck with me this week. On with the countdown.

#1. Zoot Suit Riot

Mike Nolan, defensive guru. Mike Nolan, old-school extraordinaire, rockin’ the suit from the sidelines. Mike Nolan, the third coaching casualty of the 2008 NFL season. Admittedly, I’ll kind of miss the suits since I thought that brought back some class to the sidelines (which the NFL, ironically, was hesitant to allow). Unfortunately for Nolan, his coaching couldn’t bring back class to the ‘49ers. A season removed from being my pick to represent the NFC in the Super Bowl, the Alex Smith Experiment (not to be confused with the Alan Parsons Project) has blown up entirely. And even though it was the offense that sputtered all season long, defensive great Mike Singletary has been tapped to lead the way. Personally, I think Mike will be a tremendous head coach in the NFL someday … but I’m really hoping that he rocks the formalwear on the sidelines.

#2. American Boy

Well, Estelle won’t get to see “American boy” Reggie Bush in London next week. Once projected to be the Michael Jordan of the NFL, Bush is now nursing an injury to the meniscus in his left knee and will likely miss the next 3-4 weeks, if not longer. Although Bush still has not become the offensive threat many projected him to become, he has played a very impressive role on special teams this year. Not to belittle his offensive impact, his versatility still does require defensive coordinators to throw some wrenches into their game plan. Given LT2’s relatively lackluster season, thus far, and Londoners won’t get to see the match-up between the two explosive running backs that, perhaps, the NFL had intended.

#3. This Is How We Do It

I wonder if Montell Jordan had as much trouble coming up with a second single as the Cleveland Browns seem to have with disinfecting their locker room. Evidently, staph infections are how the Browns do it. It turns out that the temporary case of elephantitis suffered by Kellen Winslow last week was actually the sixth known instance of a staph infection to plague a Browns player since 2005. Really guys? Can’t you just bug bomb the locker/training rooms?

Also in the Montell Jordan mold, excessive bitching is apparently how Winslow does it. “Solja” Cry Baby didn’t like that Browns GM Phil Savage didn’t check-up on him in the hospital or wish him well upon his grand return to the team. Really Kellen? Would you like Savage and the rest of us to throw all hands in the air? Maybe wave them from here to there? Because evidently you think you’re an O.G. mack, but you’re just a wanna-be player. (Note: This is the most publicity that Montell Jordan has received since 1998. We’ll be expecting a check)

#4. It Wasn’t Me

Jay Glazer has been “Mr. Scoop” all season long. Heck, I’d raise his hand in victory if he were here. This time, Glazer brought us news that evidently Brett Favre has been feeding information about the Packers offensive game plan to some of Green Bay’s opponents. The most information is with regard to the Detroit Lions, the Packers least fearsome NFC North rival (we here at PHSports use the term “rival” loosely as it applies to the Lions). Glazer has been spot on with his reports in recent memory, so I’m inclined to go with him. However, Brett “I wish I could do the Shaggy voice to match my shaggy beard” Favre has categorically denied such actions against the team that made him into a legend. Then again, Favre also categorically denied retiring, un-retiring, and wanting to be traded. Wouldn’t this guy make a damn good Presidential candidate?

Maybe the new version of the song could go something like:

But we caught you with Matt Millen – It wasn’t me

Heard it from 2 other sources – It wasn’t me

Marinelli wouldn’t comment – It wasn’t me

Brett Favre is such a d-bag – It wasn’t … oh F it, it was me.

Tuesday FourCast: Week 6

Paymon called it last week with his code orange games. Things definitely went awry, especially for one division. We saw some mighty teams fall in what should have been easy matchups. And with that, we start the mid-section of the season.


#1. Take That Vegas

At one point last week, the Redskins were 14.5 point favorites over the Rams. Let's not forget, this is the NFL, which means "No Funds League" if you use Vegas odds when betting on games. Coming off big wins against the Cowboys and Eagles on the road, the Redskins lay an egg at home against the hapless Rams. Being a long time fan of the Skins, I can tell you that this is normal. I told people in my office last week that this is a game the Skins always lose and had several of them remind me on Monday about that revelation. A few things I take away from this game. Josh Brown is one of the best free agent acquisitions the Rams have had for a while. The Redskins came down to earth as soon as they had a few turnovers. Vinny Cerrato should publicly apologize for forcing the team to keep Durant Brooks as their punter, since he wasted a draft pick on Brooks. Offensive linemen should bat down passes instead of thinking they are Jerry Rice. And, Richie Incognito should be a professional wrestler and not in the NFL.


#2. Gun-Slinging (Sorta) in the Wild West

How important is special teams play to a football team? Just ask the Cardinals who pulled a minor shocker at home against the Dallas Cowboys. There is no need to look further than the Cardinals' opening play and their closing play of the game. J.J. Arrington started things off with the proverbial punch in the nose, with a 93-yard kickoff return for a touchdown. Later, Sean Morey and Monty Beisel combined to block a punt and claim the ball in the end zone for a TD in overtime to seal the victory. These two plays served as the end-caps for a game overstocked with turnovers and ugly play. Another observation I had refers to what T.O. cried about in a previous press conference. He wanted the damn ball. But, in three of the last four games, he has 8 catches for 120 yards and 1 TD. Marion Barber had 11 for 128 and a TD in this game alone. Note to T.O.: Get open, and you'll get the damn ball...and cozy up to Brad Johnson too.


#3. Is LT Finally Going to Shut Up???

I could see it before the game even started. A pouty LaDainian Tomlinson boo-hooing over a loss to the Patriots, claiming, "They cheated!!! Belichick is a bad bad person!!!" (Queue crying baby sound effect). It was nice seeing them pound the Brady-less Patriots like a team that's missing their All-Pro QB. Ok, that sounded redundant, but I'm sure you all know what I mean. Phillip Rivers got his groove on throwing to his over-sized receivers. The smaller Patriot DBs showed their weakness. Matt Cassel showed us why he's never been a starting QB. I think this is just further proof that since Tom Brady went down, the AFC is anybody's game.


#4. The New York Football...Midgets???

Not quite, but what are we to think? Did the Browns come to life, or did the Giants finally come back to earth? Derek Anderson spent the last few weeks barely holding Brady Quinn off from the starting QB job. Last night, Anderson restated his case as the outright starter in Cleveland. Eli Manning threw three picks (one of them a Pick-Six) to a set of Browns DBs that the average fan couldn't name a single member. Amazingly, sans the "Soulja", the Browns looked a lot like the team that went 10-6 last season. Braylon Edwards shook off some of that dust to give Anderson a hand, and once again looked like he's the next big thing at WR. Furthermore, the Giants lost their first road game since week 1 last season. If I was to point out a trend for this week, it's that three quarters of the NFC East needs to pick themselves up after some shocking losses and once again prove that they are the best division in the league.

Tuesday FourCast: Week 4

Three solid weeks of the FourCast to start off the season, and the NFL must have sensed I was coming to bat since it gave me a plethora of things to write/cheer/bitch/celebrate/groan about. Hell, so much happened that I didn't even have room to include an item complaining about the horrid officiating (Hochuli strikes again, and WTF happened in the MIN/TEN game??) or the horrid handling of fines for bitching about officiating (WHERE IS NORV TURNER'S F'ING FINE????). Y'all better behave in Week 8 ... otherwise I'll blast you then. For now, it's Week 4's FourCast...

#1. Enver Broncos (There’s no “D”)

I’m sorry, is it just me or is Paul Westhead coaching the Broncos? Westhead, of course, coached the other defense-less pro team in Denver history, the Nuggets, from 1990-1992. In his first season as coach, Westhead’s Nuggets put up a whopping 120 pts per game, kinda like the Broncos have been putting of 33.25 points per game. Problem? The Nuggets gave up 131 points per game. The Broncos haven’t given up more points than they’ve scored quite yet, giving up 29.25 points per game, but are well on their way to doing so. Denver ’s got a powerful offense that is relying heavily on the passing attack, but it cannot continue to win with a defense that gives up 33 points to Kansas City .

Unfortunately for Denver Fans, the Broncos Defense was listening to Peyton's chant...

#2. HOW BOUT DEM … Redskins?

Yes, I’m opting to use one of my points to be a homer. But how could I not, given that the Redskins outplayed a superstar-filled Dallas team in their last-ever meeting at Texas Stadium? The Skins managed an impressive ground game against DeMarcus Ware and Co., enabling the way to a balanced offensive attack (37 rushes, 31 passes) and over 38 minutes of possession time. After four weeks it seems that the Cowboys will have to tweak their defense quite a bit if they want to fulfill the glorious predictions that so many pundits have given (myself NOT included). As for Washington , given their penchant for consultation between players and coaches on the sidelines during each game, this is a team that is looking to learn, grow and develop after every single down played this season … and as a fan of both the Skins and of the NFL, this is something I really like.

Dat's mah Kotaback! Ima throw him under the bus for only gettin me the ball on 1/3 of the plays!

#3. Tragedy Strikes Collier

Why does it seem that I get tragedies related to NFL players for my Fourcasts? Monday afternoon I learned that Jacksonville ’s O-lineman, Richard Collier will be paralyzed from the waist down and also had his left leg amputated from above the knee. Following in the recent shootings of Sean Taylor and Darrent Williams, it seems that someone has painted a target on NFL players. Per the facts available in all three cases, the athletes were innocent in their actions prior to being shot. Taylor sought to defend his family from would-be burglars, Williams was having fun with friends on New Year’s Eve (though there are rumors of a potential dispute earlier in the evening at a nightclub), and Collier and a teammate were waiting for two women outside their apartment. While it is a miracle that Collier survived the 14 bullet wounds to the back, left groin, left legs and right buttock (per Yahoo! Sports), his promising career has been unfairly stopped at the age of 26.

Of course our prayers go out to Richard Collier and his family.

#4. No Family League

The other tragedy is the death of Matt Bryant’s infant son. Bryant buried his three month old son, Matthew Tryson Bryant, on Saturday, and then proceeded to play, and win the game, for the Bucs on Sunday. To lose a child is one of the most difficult things, and yet Bryant was pretty much forced to play. While, again, our prayers go out to the Bryant family, I also am disgusted and appalled that the NFL does not allow a roster exemption for bereavement and other drastically important family matters.

Given the current layout of rules in the “No Family League,” a team can receive a roster exemption for having a douchebag as a player (see Chris Henry, Pacman Jones, et al.), but cannot receive such an exemption for having a dedicated family man on its team. So whether a player’s wife starts giving birth to his first-born child or a player’s spouse, parent, sibling or child dies, that player is all but forced to play. I’m sure the Bucs gave Bryant the option of missing the game, but, being a consummate professional and realizing that his absence would require the team to cut another member in order to sign a replacement kicker, Bryant kicked his team to victory with a very heavy heart.

Kudos and prayers to you, Matt Bryant.

A double-dose of my middle finger to you, NFL policy makers.

Tuesday FourCast: Week 3

Clement is always a tough act to follow. The guy just has a knack for analyzing what happens on the field/court/rink/pitch/etc. Now it's my turn, and I do my analysis like I like my football games...UGLY!!! Week 3 had its shares of ups and downs, but I decided the bigger stories were more interesting to me.

Without much further ado...here's your Tuesday FourCast


#1. The Bane of Their Existence

How fitting is it that the team to end the New England Patriots' 21-game regular season winning streak would be the Miami Dolphins? The Curse of the '72 Dolphins persists. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Somebody has to shut those geezers up, and stop those corks from popping. I am not a fan of the Pats, but would have been fine if they put a cork in those geezers last year. Regardless of who is playing QB, nobody expected a 38-13 drubbing. But, is that what this team has become without Brady? Sure, they didn't have Maroney, but what does Maroney mean to that team anyway? He's been highly replaceable in my opinion. Would last year's Patriots have given up 4 TDs on the same gimmick play? Is Randy Moss giving up on another team? Charlie Casserly seems to be alluding to that. Regardless, we saw something that none would have dreamed while watching the Patriots tear through the league last season. The Foxboro faithful booed their own team.


#2. Al Davis and His Red Kimono

In Japan, by the time man reaches the age of 60, he is commemorated with a special ceremony. This ceremony features the man wearing a red kimono, which denotes that he no longer has the responsibilities of being a mature adult. Al Davis has been wearing a proverbial red kimono for some time now. The whole Lane Kiffin situation is nauseating. What self-respecting coach with any kind of experience would consider "coaching" the team under Al Davis? Kiffin is part of a long line of coaches that Al Davis has walked all over, dating at least back to when Shanahan was there. Davis owns a team that acts just as juvenile as he does. He breeds an environment for immaturity. The Raiders Culture is no longer a bunch of players who intimidate the other team on the field. They are now a team of individuals who do whatever they want at the detriment of the team. The latest, a Davis confidant John Herrera, showed those that saw the post-game video how despicable of a person he is. I say they parade him around the sidelines in Al's Red Kimono the rest of the season, before firing him.


#3. Jerrah and his Blue Storm

Switching from Al Davis to the owner that I respect the most in the NFL. Jerry Jones may be a meddlesome owner, but he knows his football. He's one of the better GMs in the league, and could probably head to the sidelines and coach that team. Jerrah is everything Al Davis tries to be (while failing miserably). He also deserves a ton of credit (so does Tuna) for having the best team on the field every Sunday. And yes, that is the most painful thing for a Redskins fan to say. The makeup of this team has championship written all over it. Now if they can just win their first playoff game in over a decade. Franchise QB, check. One-Two Punch at RB, check. Star Receivers, check. All-Star Offensive Line, check. Their offense has put up 96 points in the first three games. The defensive front seven is stacked like a 3-4 defense should be, with a slew of gutsy linemen and talented backers. The defensive backs are so deep with starting caliber talent that they can adjust to any team's style. Some haters will point to the players with unattractive character, but they forget the guys that are good influences on the team (Tony Romo, Flozell Adams, Zach Thomas, Ken Hamlin). Watching them pound the Packers this week cemented my feelings about the Cowboys. While I don't see them matching the regular season of the 2007 Patriots, I can easily see this team making another addition to the team's Lombardi Trophy case.


#4. The Bane of Their OWN Existence

Some are pointing to the St. Louis Rams as being the worst team in the NFL. However, I believe the owner of that title belongs to the Detroit Lions. I especially loved William Clay Ford, Jr. coming out and saying his father should fire Matt Millen so that the team can reach some level of success. No truer words have been spoken. The Lions are 31-84 under Millen. The bye week couldn't have come at a better time, because they go on the road in week 5, where Millen's road record is 8-49. While St. Louis is 0-3, they played teams like Philly, the Giants and the Seahawks (two playoff teams and a team that's playing like they're playoff bound). The Lions on the other hand have played two weak teams (Atlanta & San Fran), made them look good and have given up 113 points after 3 games. Their running game is in shambles, Kitna keeps putting the team in a bad situation by claiming they're going to win 10 games every year (giving other teams the motivation to shellack them), the offensive line, as talented as the individuals are, can't put it all together for an entire game, and the defense isn't playing with much heart outside of the LB corps. Management needs to show Millen the door. Not just for his mistakes, but also to give the team a fresh start from the top. The team may even need a fresh start from the coaching staff that runs the team more like a boot camp. Either way, it will be a long season for the Lions, and they may be looking at the #1 pick in the draft.

"Tuesday" FauxCast: Pre-Season Edition

Sitting at my day-job cubicle, I scroll through sports related sites fairly regularly (it helps get my mind off of the horrid stench emanated by the woman who sits to my right). Aside from the Olympics fiasco (I wonder if the judges were threatened with human rights abuses?), my focus has been primarily on the stories coming out of the NFL Pre-Season. Thus, I figured, why not get into pre-season form myself and bring back the FourCast a couple weeks early? (And since everyone is missing a step in the pre-season, I decided to be a day off). Let’s take a look at what’s been hitting the No Fun League over the past few days (and hopefully protect me from Stinky McGee for a few more minutes).


1. Tony Dungy changes his last name to “Belichick”

Okay, so he really didn’t change last names, but given the Belichick-esque routine with regard to Peyton Manning’s condition, he should get an award. So often Dungy gets praise from the “media” and fans for being a class act, while Belichick has his name dragged through the mud (even before spygate). Dungy himself has even seemingly accepted the pedestal on which he’s been placed, chastising the Pats Head Coach for his questionable methods. However, throughout last season, Dungy never once properly addressed the injury to Marvin Harrison, letting opposing teams (not to mention countless fantasy owners) prepare for no reason. Wait … doesn’t everyone (legitimately) give crap to Belichick for doing that with regard to Tom Brady’s “shoulder injury”?

This pre-season, Dungy seems to be acting coy with regard to Peyton’s knee and its, now missing, bursa sac. Could Peyton’s knee brace be this year’s version of Brady’s boot?


2. You’re doin a heckuva job there, Brownie

Ronnie Brown began the pre-season as the top running back for the Miami Dolphins. Sure, everyone assumed he’d be splitting the carries with Ricky Williams, but we also figured he’d get most of the touches. Now we know (thanks to the folks at ProFootballTalk.com) that Brown is listed as the #2 back on the ‘Fins depth chart. The #2 overall selection in the 2005 NFL Draft came out of Auburn with lots of hype. Unfortunately, his injury plagued career has only seen him get 1,000 yards rushing once and has yet to see him play all 16 games. Maybe he just likes being #2?


3. Depth at Wide-Receiver is for pansies

While Peyton limps around (or “limps” around, we don’t know … friggin Dungy), the “other Manning” continues to show us that he really doesn’t need much in the way of teammates. A season after winning the Super Bowl without the help of the talented (but loud-mouthed) Tiki Barber and Jeremy Shockey, Eli is showing us he really doesn’t need depth or talent at the wide-receiver position (Note: Somewhere Donovan McNabb is taking notes). On Monday night, Eli shredded the Browns secondary for 2 touchdowns to Domenick Hixon, in all completing 4 of 7 passes to only Hixon and Sinorice Moss. Those stats, of course, do not include a 53-yard pass interference gain on a pass to Moss that set up the first TD to Hixon.

All-in-all, the G-men only needed to complete passes to five different receivers, none of whom were named Plaxico, Amani, Mario or Steve Smith.


4. The Truth?!? Al Davis can’t handle the truth!

Al Davis has forever been the scorn of head coaches. He bring them in, has them do his bidding without complaint and then disposes of them. Kinda sounds like Dick Cheney and his hunting pals. Well, maybe the Vice-President should think twice before inviting Raiders head coach Lane Kiffin out to hunt geese. Kiffin, long rumored to be a lame-duck coach this year, has forgotten all about the “thou shalt not bemoan Al Davis” motto of the Oakland Raiders (yeah, the “Commitment to Excellence” line is just a farce). In comments to reporters earlier this week, good ole’ Lane whined about the lack of depth on his team and further bitched about the management’s lack of play in the waiver/free agent market this pre-season.

Is Kiffin just trying to pass the buck so as to not scare away potential future employers? Probably. But hey, I give the kid (yes, “kid”) credit for having the testicular fortitude to give the finger to Davis . If Brett does run for president, Kiffin can be his renegade/maverick veep choice.

Tuesday FourCast: Week 15

Fifteen weeks are in the books and one constant remains. There are no constants in the NFC, except for the NFC West being completely worthless. In the AFC East, it was "redemption" for the Patriots who doubled up on the Jets. In Miami, the Dolphins transitioned from unprecedented futility to precedented futility. In the NFC East, actual redemption took place as the Eagles and Redskins avenged home losses against the Cowboys and the Giants, respectively. That takes us to my first point.

#1: Keep Bringing Your Significant Others, Tony Romo!

If you listened to the real media, you would believe wholeheartedly that Tony Romo never repeats a mistake twice. First of all, that was wrong prior to Sunday's shocking home defeat to my Eagles. Secondly, he brought his significant other to a home game against the Eagles for the second straight year … and his fantasy owners are cursing him as I type. Last year, it was Carrie Underwood – 2 INTs and a 48.3 completion percentage. On Sunday, it was Jessica Simpson - 3 INTs and a 36.1 completion percentage. If he had the Giants receivers, he might have dipped below 20%. All jokes aside, the home loss to the Eagles had profound implications to the Cowboys resolve last season and we may see a similar fate in January.

#2: The Two Teams in the AFC That You Don't Want to Play …

Not named the New England Patriots are the Jacksonville Jaguars and the San Diego Chargers. Sadly, they may have to play each other in the opening round of the NFL Playoffs. Right now, both teams are simply stomping a mud hole into their opponents with regularity. If they wanted to, the Chargers could've had three 100-yard rushers on Sunday against the lowly Lions. As for the Jags, they racked up 200 rushing yards against Pittsburgh, who for years have been among the league's best in stopping the run. Not to mention, they just refuse to turn the ball over. No matter how the last two weeks shake out, absolutely no team wants to face either team.

#3: Unlikely Playoff Team

Believe it or not, the Minnesota Vikings have the inside track at the 6th seed in the NFC. It's crazy. Once at 3-6, the Vikings were shut out by Green Bay and without the services of their all-world rookie running back. Not to mention, their head coach, who bears a resemblance to Red Forman on That '70s Show, comes from the Ozzie Guillen School of Message Filtration. With his coaching future hanging in the balance, Brad Childress gathered the troops and stuck to his guns. They ran the ball. They stopped the ball. They scored on defense. That is Vikings football. And that, my friends, is why the Vikings – who we had pegged for exactly two wins – stand at 8-6. That's not a misprint.

#4: Believe-land

Three years ago, I came to the conclusion to the Cleveland Browns franchise was cursed. Being wildly tactful, I shared this with everyone who beared any association with the city that rocks according to one Drew Carey. Most didn't disagree, and if anyone followed how many centers they went through during the 2006 season, they'd agree. Three years later, I'm eating crow again and Cleveland continues to find new ways to win. In Week 11, Phil Dawson's game-tying kick defied physics when it hit the curved center support behind the crossbar and landed in the endzone. In Week 15, Jamal Lewis celebrated his second-straight 100-yard game in a wild snowstorm against Buffalo, who, off of two consecutive victories, seemed to be in pole position given the elements. Last year, Cleveland lost all of their close games. This year, the Browns are 9-3 in games that are decided by two scores or less. Why? Because Cleveland is now Believe-land.

Tuesday FourCast - Week 14

Interesting week in the NFL. There was a light mix of drama, division clinchers and great QB play. The Patriots are still undefeated. The Flounders...er...Dolphins are still winless. And the referees are calling the games like a bunch of blind zebras. Let's cut to the chase.

1. L.T. goes T.O.

What does L.T. think? Just because he throws a touchdown pass every few games, he thinks Rivers should throw nothing but touchdowns? Rivers is by no means a Favre, Brady or Manning. Tomlinson cannot expect impeccable play. Sure, watching your QB throw away a game is frustrating, but you have to stand by your man. I like L.T., but when Rivers sat next to him on the bench and L.T. stood right up with that scowl on his face, I lost a little respect for him. Looks like L.T. still needs to mature. I wonder if there would have been a different scene in that fake kiss-and-make-up press conference after the game, if they had lost. Did they think they were fooling anyone? This is how it started for T.O. and Jeff Garcia, and we all know where that ended. At this point, the situation is in the hands of Norv Turner. Far from a disciplinarian, Turner would be well-advised to stray from his normal behavior, and nip this in the bud right away.

2. The Purple People Beater

Going into the 2006 NFL draft, Tarvaris Jackson was a bit of an enigma. He had, arguably, the strongest arm in the draft, yet regardless of his accuracy at Alabama State, the jury was out on his accuracy once he makes the jump to the NFL. In week two, he threw four interceptions, following that up with a week 6 & 7 where his completion percentage was below 40 percent. Things were not looking so good. However, in the last four games, Jackson deserves at least some of the credit for the four game win streak. While his TD numbers aren't amazing (4 TDs, 2 Ints), his accuracy is the most impressive. He has completed 61 of 83 passes during that stretch for a very accurate 73% completion percentage. After the first half of the season, many thought the Vikings would have to target another QB in the draft. However, Jackson looks to be their "QB of the Future" again.

3 - Can I Be A Head Coach?

This week, we saw another coaching mistake that arguably made it very difficult for their team to win. Last week, we saw Hall of Fame Coach Joe Gibbs call consecutive timeouts to give the opposing team an easy shot at a game-winning field goal. This week, we saw a lack of judgment by a coach who was considered a Mangenius last year. Mangini went against the odds. He had three timeouts left, and plenty of time, yet he went for a second onside kick in a row. At 4th and 10, they could have gone for the first down, and even if they missed, they would have their opponent pinned with their backs to the end zone. Yet, they chose to kick a FG. Both the Redskins and the Jets could have different head coaches on their sidelines next year; however, Mangini probably deserves another chance.

4. Vick gets 23 in the Pound...

...and he deserves every minute of it. I also love the little bit that the judge threw in there, making it a 23-month sentence and not a 24 month sentence. With two years of good behavior, Vick could have served less than 23 months, but now that he won't serve a two-year sentence, he will actually spend more time in the pound than if he had received 24 months. Now the question is: Will Vick ever make it back to the NFL? The answer depends on several factors. First and foremost is how long Goodell bans Vick once his prison sentence is over. Another factor is who will be the Falcons QB when Vick is eligible to return. Lastly, who will want a rusty QB in his 30s, who hasn't played in 2-3 years, and wasn't accurate in the passing game to begin with? Unfortunately, we will see one of the best talents to ever grace the league go to waste. Fortunately though, we removed another criminal from the streets.

Tuesday FourCast: Week 11

Through eight weeks, a few constants held true. Through 11 weeks, there’s just one. The Patriots are downright dominant. Anything short of winning the Super Bowl will be a supreme disappointment. As the Patriots continue to solidify their role in history, uncertainty continues to be the superseding undertone among the NFL’s perceived elite. That’s where we start.

#1: What Has Happened in the Steel City?

Two weeks ago, I considered the Steelers to be not only the #2 team in the AFC, but also the second-best team in the NFL. Since that determination, Pittsburgh has forgotten how to do the two things they do best – run and stop the run. Additionally, their special teams coverage has been abysmal. While they only surrendered 163 yards from scrimmage against Cleveland, they gave up 28 points. Since their Monday night demolition of the Baltimore Ravens, the Steelers defense has had exactly 3 sacks and 2 takeaways in 120+ minutes of football. Did I mention that not only did Big Ben get sacked seven times but that the Steelers were outgained by the Jets? Suddenly, the Steelers are suffering from a loss of identity.

#2: Carson Palmer is Overrated

While I tolerate the love that Carson Palmer is given by other contributors of this blog, much of that love is unsubstantiated. Playoff Games: One. Playoff victories: Zero. No matter how you bend reality, Carson Palmer is the quarterback of a 3-7 team. You can point to the lack of a defense. You can point to the health of Rudi Johnson and the beleaguered offensive line. You could even point to the ego of Chad Johnson. However, none of those players threw four interceptions yesterday in a must-win situation [and effectively resurrected the flailing career of Antrel Rolle] or lost seven fumbles last season. Despite his impeccable mechanics, Carson Palmer is and will remain overrated until he shows otherwise.

#3: Taking Out At Least Two Birds With One Stone

On Sunday, the Colts struggled to a victory over the depleted Kansas City Chiefs. After missing four straight field goal attempts, future Hall of Famer was in no frame of mind to make anything short of a gimmie. Peyton Manning had come off of his only 6 INT effort … ever and converting on 4th and 1 was not a sure thing. With less than two minutes left, Tony Dungy rolled the dice on 4th down and converted when a field goal was the simpler option. As a result, the makeshift offensive line got the necessary push and Adam Vinatieri may have gotten back on track. If such is the case, then Coach Dungy just took out two birds with one stone.

#4: Maurice Jones-Drew, Football Player

Two weekends ago at New Orleans, Jaguars QB Quinn Gray threw a last-minute interception of a game that was decided shortly before halftime. Did Jones-Drew jog and conserve energy for the following week’s tilt? No. He speared Saints CB Jason Craft and sent a message to the NFL that these Jags would not quit regardless of what the scoreboard dictates.

Up 17-10 yesterday against the 5-4 San Diego Chargers, the diminutive Jones-Drew had one of the memorable plays of the NFL season when he laid out Shawne Merriman. Sure, the play does not help your fantasy team unless you own either David Garrard or Mercedes Lewis. Nevertheless, the play occurred at a key juncture in a close game and turned out to be the decider for the Jags.

Tuesday FourCast: Week 9

My apologies for the slight delay this week, but since this gig pays me the equivalent of the number of touchdown passes thrown by Ryan Leaf since 2002 I opted to take care of other pressing matters first. In any case, it was a crazy weekend in the NFL, chock-full-of broken records, concussions, and that little game that was played out in Indianapolis.

#1: How Many Fingers Am I Holding Up?

I’m probably one of the biggest fans of solid hits delivered on the football field. The view of a crushing blow that lays out a wide-receiver after goes across the middle for a pass, or of a special teams player causing a punt returner to leave his feet because the return man idiotically forgot to signal a fair catch, is just pure gold. That is, it’s great, if the guy who got decked can get up and play again in the same game. But when the result is a massive concussion, or other serious injury, I’m less happy.

This season we have seen quite a few players leave and/or miss games due to concussions. We may have even seen Trent Green’s career come to an end. Yet, too often, players who suffer concussions are rushed back to the playing field. The Carolina Panthers are desperate to rush David Carr back to the field after his concussion this past week. Laveranues Coles is desperately needed by the Jets and Kellen Clemens, even though he suffered a concussion recently as well. Hopefully Coles will continue to heed the advice of former teammate Wayne Chrebet. And hopefully more coaches will take the lead of Cam Cameron, who refuses to let Trent Green risk his future health and happiness even though the quarterback is dying to get back out there.

While the big hits are entertaining, I’d rather see the players have full careers than mistake my two fingers for four.

#2: Still Not Crowning Their Ass

WARNING: Mandatory item on the Patriots. All haters please skip down to #3.

What a game. Sure, it wasn’t the 41-38 final score that most people were hoping for, but we did get to see just how important defense is, even in a contest of offensive heavyweights. Early on, it was the Colts who pressured Brady into mistakes and miscues (even though I contend that the interception just prior to the Addai touchdown would not have been a pick if Randy Moss were the intended receiver rather than Stallworth). And in the end, pressure by New England’s front-seven led to Manning’s “fumbleception” to Roosevelt Colvin.

But even though the Patriots remained resilient, and played impeccable football against the other NFL powerhouse in 8 of the final 2 minutes of the game, I still refuse to crown them. I see three potential games that the Pats could conceivably lose, plus, they’ll still have to make it through 2 playoff games and the Super Bowl. The three games which, in my opinion, could cause the ’72 Dolphins (whose regular season opponents, by the way, had a winning percentage of 0.364) to drink their champagne yet again are: November 18 at Buffalo, December 9 against Pittsburgh, and December 29 at the Giants.

#3: Return of the Macks

This week will see the return of two solid players who were suspended by Roger Goodell because of their off-the-field conduct. First, DT Tank Johnson will return to the playing field on behalf of the Dallas Cowboys. Johnson received his suspension due to various events, ranging from his possession of guns to DUIs, that occurred during his tenure with the Chicago Bears. Even though Johnson remained unsigned until after the second week of the regular season, the commissioner allowed those two weeks to serve against his suspension. Logic? None, but then again this does relate to the Cowboys, so no logic is the norm.

Secondly, Begnals WR Chris Henry returns this week as well. Henry received his suspension on the same day that Pacman Jones was suspended for the entire season. This could not come at a better time for the listless Bengals, who are struggling with a 2-6 mark and who might be without Chad Johnson for a week or two. Ironically, this comes right as Titans RB Chris Henry is about to begin a suspension for substance abuse. Note to self: don’t name my children “Chris Henry.”

#4: And I Thought 196 Yards Was A Good Day

It’s no secret that I’m a Redskins fan. Therefore, it’s no secret that I cringe most every week when I see a Joe Gibbs team passing on 3^rd and 2. This weekend finally gave me some sort of a sigh of relief thanks to Clinton Portis’ 196 rushing yards. Sure, we barely beat the 1-8 Jets, but we got our ground game going and our starting running back was assured to be the week’s rushing leader. What? He finished second?!? By 100 yards?!?!?! Holy $#!†.

Adrian Peterson is a beast, there’s no other way to put it. The Chargers are known for their weak secondary, not a weak run defense. But just by looking at the highlights from that game, it’s clear that Peterson was a man on a mission … either that or he’d been smoking the peyote and running like crazy. I fully admit, I thought he would’ve been injured by this point in the season and I drastically underestimated him. That said, I’m really thankful for the trade in which I acquired him for Chad Pennington in my fantasy league. To think, I hesitated on pulling the trigger on that deal.

Last year, the rookie who was breaking records left and right was Devin Hester. Now we’ve got Peterson, who is well on his way to breaking the single season rushing record as well. An even greater feat would be for Peterson to lead the Vikes into the postseason, and in the NFC that’s a very real possibility.

Tuesday FourCast: Week 7

Week 7 is all over. Tom Brady is on pace to shatter Peyton Manning’s single-season touchdown pass record. What’s new? And yes, I’m still eating crow thinking he’d throw only 30 TDs. So much for that. So much for the Rams who remain winless. To think that some of the wisest football folks in America picked them to be the NFC representative seven weeks ago is wild. Hindsight is 20/20. This FourCast is about 20/30.

1) Rob Bironas is a Big-Time Kicker … at least in the Regular Season

When you think of big game kickers, Adam Vinatieri’s name comes to mind. However, there’s another kicker who took the plaudits on Sunday afternoon. That was Tennessee’s Bironas. Last season, he broke onto the scene with a game-winning field goal against Indianapolis. On Sunday, he kicked not 5, not 6, not even 7, but an NFL-record 8 field goals. He made all of them. Had Bironas missed just one, he’d have been the scapegoat for what was a cataclysmic fifteen minutes for the Titans defense.

2) The Weekly Patriots Mention

In the last two weeks, the Patriots defense has given up 48 points (it’s 55 points if you count a defensive TD scored by Dallas). Over the next few weeks, analysts will pick this team apart for any weakness. If you want a weakness, how about the lack of a rushing game? This does not bode well for a team who plays in a cold-weather city. Sure, global warming will continue to aid the Patriots as weather allows Buffalo to enjoy 70-degree weather in late October. But the Patriots will eventually face ugly weather and the fun n’ gun alone will not be enough.

3) The Bills No Longer Winless

Congratulations to the Buffalo Bills! They are no longer winless. Some of you might argue that they have two wins. However, I’m not counting their victory against the Jets. As an aside, I’m not counting the Jets’ victory against Miami. In fact, it took seven weeks for a team from the AFC East not named the Patriots to win a game against a non-divisional opponent. Back to the win against the Baltimore. The Bills stuck it to Willis McGahee in his return - not by stopping him (he averaged almost eight yards per carry and scored a touch), but by the final score. Further, Lee Evans rose from the ashes. Unfortunately for JP Losman, the Trent Edwards experiment has gone full throttle and it’s no longer Losman’s job to lose.

4) I’m So Done With You, Andy Reid

I don’t care if Charles Barkley thinks he’s fantastic. What have you done for me lately? The Eagles were a minute from having an even record despite playing a single good game all season. Nevertheless, the players got complacent with a 4-point lead and the opposition pegged at their 3-yard line with less than a minute left in the game. As everyone knows, the Bears did the unthinkable and scored the touchdown they needed with :09 remaining.

Fantastic coaches don’t let their players sniff even a hint of complacency. That’s the nature of the beast that is coaching. And when you’re not doing your job, you must be held accountable. As an Eagles fan, I knew the season would be a long one because the Eagles addressed few weaknesses and made questionable picks (Kevin Kolb, Victor Abiamiri to name a couple) throughout the NFL Draft. That’s because Andy Reid, normally an outstanding talent evaluator, was focused on matters unrelated to football. As a result, the organization has suffered.

Tuesday FourCast: Week 6

Back in Week 2, I needed to score big on my FourCast. I called on the Cleveland Browns offense to guarantee me a score. Funny how I'm doing the PHSports FourCast for my second time, and I could probably ask for their offense to help me again. Pittsburgh had better look out in week 10.

1) The Hester Prynne-ciple

Rather than bear a single scarlet letter, Devin Hester wears three letters for the Bears: MVP. Hester may not be out there on offense (or defense) every play of the game, but his big plays are what keep the Bears in games. How valuable is Hester to the Bears? Last season, he won the Arizona game for the Bears with his 83-yard punt return for a TD. He crippled the Rams with two kick returns for TDs. He demoralized the Giants with an electrifying 108-yard return off of a missed field goal attempt. He also had two others last year. This year, he has already returned three kicks/punts for scores and had another long TD lining up on offense.

Momentum is the name of the game in the NFL. You see it every game. A momentum-changing play. Whether it puts a team back in the lead, gives them some extra cushion or puts them back in the game, the fact that the pendulum swing is one of the most important pieces of the puzzle. The excitement that a momentum changer infuses into teammates and coaches can turn an average team into a good team. Had it not been for a Herculean effort by a rookie running back on the Vikings, Hester would have had the Bears in the win column again.

2) 81 vs. 81

Clinging to each other in their loneliness and alienation, Randy and his simple-minded friend T.O. dream, as drifters will, of a place to call their own. But after they came to work on the gridiron in Dallas their hopes, like "the best laid schemes o' mice an' men," begin to go awry.

Randy Moss isn't really talking this year (or rubbing his rear end on a goal-post), and T.O. decided not to talk this past week. Both are feats of gargantuan proportions. The challenge was silently made. However, if I was to crown a winner, I'd give it to backup kicker extraordinaire Wes Welker. Welker matched both Randy's and T.O.'s stats, combined. Also lost in this fray was Donte Stallworth, who came up one TD short of matching Welker. Then again, have I made a mistake in crowning my champ? Looking at the Cowboys, we notice that nobody really played the Welker or Stallworth role. The fact is that Randy Moss seems to be drawing more attention from defenses than T.O. who's nearly on pace to lead the league in drops again. Maybe we will see this matchup again this season. You know where. Round two could be interesting.

3) You may say I'm a dreamer...

...but I'm not the only one. I want to see the Patriots run the table and win the Super Bowl as the only 19-0 team in NFL history. However, my reason for wanting them to do this might make me the only one to think that way. I'm tired of hearing the bottle of champagne uncork every season. Those 1972 Dolphins know that once there is another undefeated team, they could be forgotten.

The big question is: Are the Pats good enough? Judging by the performance they had on Sunday afternoon, New England looks like a juggernaut. Another point I would like to toss around is the fact that it is harder to run the table in this era. For starters, there are two more games on the schedule. More importantly, due to the free agency era, there is parity in the NFL. There isn't another team in the NFL that can boast that they have as much talent on their roster from the starters to the practice squad. If the Pats happen to lose this year, that sound won't be a cork flying off a bottle, it will be the thud from me hitting the floor in disappointment.

4) It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

It was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness. No, this isn't a Tale of Two Cities. It's the NFL. If someone told me the Bears, Bengals, Saints and Rams would be in the bottom quarter of the league by week six, I would have called you crazy. Same goes for Jacksonville and Carolina being in the top quarter. The Rams can't seem to stay healthy. The Bears offense has come down to earth. The Bengals are finally showing the effects of having the inmates run the asylum. The Saints look more like a team whose city was ravaged by a hurricane. On the light side, we have Jacksonville, who's riding the hot hand of a mistake-free QB, David Garrard (Byron who?) and a rededication to the run game. The Panthers jumped on the wrinkled hand of Vinny Testaverde who showed that he knows who Steve Smith is. However, I have to hand it to our fellow writer Sum, who before training camp predicted the Packers to finish atop the NFC North.

Tuesday FourCast: Week 5

Hey there, sports fans. I’m back for my second crack at this Tuesday FourCast thing. The other three fellas have kept the column going strong, and I hope to do the same. But definitely let us know your thoughts and comments on how we can improve not only this column, but the blog as a whole in order to serve your sports-thirsty minds. And now, in the words of Kasey Kasem, “On with the countdown.”

#1: Quarterbacks! O Quarterbacks! Wherefore Art Thou, Quarterbacks?

Yeah, that’s right. Who says you can’t mix Shakespeare with sports? In this case, it looks as though every single starting quarterback in the NFL has had a hex placed on his head by the crazy witches from MacBeth. As of this week, 16 teams have played a QB other than the one who was at the top of their depth chart in mid-August. The switches have come as a result of injuries, ineffective play, or management making a last minute cut (sorry, Byron). All of this leads me to believe that the Cardinals two-headed QB strategy from earlier this season just might become more of a norm than most people expect. Unless, of course, you can find a top-notch quarterback who is willing to ride the pine without complaining. If you do, then quickly become his agent.

#2: Can I Crown Their Ass?

As the lone supporter of the New England Patriots on this blog, I do feel the desire, every now and then, to remind my fellow contributors that the Pats are playing unbelievable football. But, the fact of the matter remains that my second favorite NFL squad has only won 5 games and there are 11 games left. Not to mention, the teams who have succumbed to the Pats are the Browns, Bills, Jets, Bengals, and the underachieving Chargers, with a combined record of 5-14. Furthermore, all this attention on the team leaves a very impressive Colts team flying under the radar. While I love rubbing the 5-0 record, the 182 points scored, and the play of Tom Brady in the faces of my colleagues, I refuse to crown this team, or any other, until February 2008.

#3: They Are Who We Thought They Were, Revisited

Boy, ESPN loves to have near-upsets on its Monday Night Football production. Last year, it led to one of the greatest press conferences given by an NFL head coach. Somehow, I doubt we’ll get a sequel to that from Dick Jauron, but it does beg the question, “How good are the Cowboys?” Are they a team that can be dominant against the weak NFC but rather crap-tastic against even the mediocre AFC teams? Yeah, they beat the Dolphins by 17, but I’d like to think the Bills are slightly better than Miami. For those who, like me, have given up on sleep, the Cowboys and “golden boy” Tony Romo looked like mere mortals against the Bills. Romo tossed 5 picks, coughed up the ball once and threw as many TDs to Bills players as to his own, but still managed to eek out a win on a last-second field goal. Yes, the Cowpokes won it, and on paper that is all that matters, but does this give a blueprint to the rest of the league on how to defend against Dallas?

#4: Walking Away Proud, Walking Away Strong

This NFL season has witnessed countless injuries in just the first five weeks. It all started with the scary sight of Kevin Everett going down in Week 1, which I covered in the first FourCast, and has led to both fans and critics of the game questioning the level of safety for the players. Even I, generally a supporter of the roughness of the game, held my breath for a few seconds when Fred Smoot went down suddenly during the Redskins/Lions game this past Sunday. Fortunately, it was only hand injury combined with Smoot getting the wind knocked out of him. But, the question as to the safety of these gridiron heroes remains.

One stellar athlete has decided that, for him, enough was finally enough. Mack Strong, fullback for the Seattle Seahawks, has decided to end his 15-year career due to a spinal cord injury. Strong felt burning sensations in his extremities after providing a block for the Seahawks in their Super Bowl XL rematch against the Steelers on Sunday. Fortunately for Strong, the burning stopped, and it appears as though he will be able to lead a normal life away from football without a need for surgery. This is a case of a player walking away at the right time, able to hold his head up high after a solid career. More importantly, Strong will be able to happily spend the rest of his life with his family. Congrats to Mack on a great career and a great decision.

Tuesday FourCast: Week 2

After watching Sum take the kickoff back for a score with his Week One FourCast, I have the daunting task of following him. I need seven on this drive. No pick-six here. I need a sure thing. Where is the Browns offense when I need them?

#1: The Measure of a Man

What makes a player great? Is it the number of touchdowns he scores? Is it a popularity contest? Is it the number of supermodels he impregnates? I beg to differ. Brett Favre will eventually hold all of the relevant quarterback records in the NFL. He will break the record for TD passes this season. He might break the passing yardage record this year. However, all of those pale in comparison to the record Favre broke when he led his Packers past the Giants. Favre eclipsed John Elway, moving into first place in all-time wins (149).

The all-time wins record is a testament to who Favre is. If Favre had to choose which one of his records he could keep, the best bet is that he would keep the all-time wins record. Since his first year with the Packers, watching him connect on game-winning TD pass to Sterling Sharpe, I could tell that something special was beginning. Even then, it was evident that Favre plays with heart. Favre has been called many things: a throwback, a gunslinger. However, there is one name he has earned. Winner.

#2: The Mis-Measure of Man

With the microscope on the New England Patriots after their videotaping fiasco, many forget about the players involved and their reputations. Sure, there are some players at fault, who knew what was going on. However, there are those that were just playing the game. Now, every player on the Patriots is potentially tainted. We heard Jaws on Monday Night Football. He said that every QB could complete 75% of their passes if they knew the opposing defense's calls. Does this mean that Tom Brady's career is a farce? I disagree.

I know it’s an unpopular opinion, but I think the penalty Goodell imposed upon the Patriots was a bit heavy-handed. Anyone that thinks other teams do not participate in similar activities are naive. All sports involve an element of gaining as many advantages over your opponents as you can. If anything, this controversy will only cause teams already involved in these activities to come up with stealthier ways to continue. Half a million dollars, while affordable to Belichick, was a bit much. However the bane of this controversy will be the forfeited first-round draft pick. Just to put perspective to the value of the pick, the Patriots landed Randy Moss for a 4th rounder.

#3: Deep in the Heart of Texans

Throughout the far-from-storied franchise of the Houston Texans, many excuses have been made to explain the futility of the team. The wide receivers wore the underachiever label. The offensive line gave up a great deal of sacks. Probably, the most logical was the lack of a power rushing game. Yours truly bought into the theory that their team was caught with their pants down when Tony Boselli's injury proved to be career-threatening and the team lacked a backup plan. However, the apparent problem was staring them down from the opposite sideline in Carolina. That would be former Texans #1 overall pick, QB David Carr.

Watching current Texans QB Matt Schaub, one can easily see the difference between the current and former starters. While making his WRs look good, Schaub also makes his offensive line look better. Schaub understands the value of getting rid of the ball, whether he's aiming for a receiver or throwing the ball away. Carr would try to milk his time in the pocket trying to make the play, resulting in him staring up at the lights 249 times in his Texans career. Then, there's that little matter of the Falcons trading Schaub away and putting their hopes into the hands of Ron Mexico...er...Michael Vick. That’s another story in itself.

#4: Fantasy Fix - The Ground Game

The consensus top three fantasy football draft picks this year were LaDainian Tomlinson, Larry Johnson and Steven Jackson, in no particular order (after Tomlinson, that is). Often, great fantasy players get off to a slow start. Two games into the season last year, they had a combined 620 yards rushing averaging a little over a hundred yards per game. The teams were a combined 3-3. This year, the same three have so far put up a combined 284 yards, their teams going a collective 1-5. Has the playing field leveled in fantasy football?

Fear not, my fantasy football addicts. If you were lucky enough to land one of these three studs, do not succumb to the trade offers that bombard you as we speak. Stick to your big guns. They will hit their stride, and come fantasy playoff time, they should be at their peak. And if anyone doubts you, pull a "Pacino" and have them say hello to your little friend.