I'd Like to Touch Jennifer's Body: Week 2 NFL & Fantasy Predictions

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Check out running commentary tomorrow TOO for plenty o' NFL commentary and analysis!

Much like last week (Lightning in a Bottle), there's no need to explain this week's title.

Or is there!?!?!

Megan Fox's latest movie could be about just about anything...and I'll be checking it out.
Credit: JennifersBody.com

Before I begin dissecting the weekend that was - and of course, the weekend that will be - it's only fair to keep with last week's momentum and throw out 10 Questions I have for the upcoming weekend slate of NFL-action.

Now for the questions...

Whoops, wrong LT. Wait, what is HE doing!?!?!
Credit: AceShowBiz.com

1) Did I ruin LT's season by drafting him in BOTH of my fantasy football leagues?
2) How many fantasy football nuts will overrate last week's performance by Julius Jones?
3) Could the Rams legitimately challenge the Lions of last season for overall suckiness?
4) Which bet are you more likely to take this weekend: Cutler throws for 4 TDs and 1 INT or Cutler throws for 1 TD and 4 INTs?
5) Is Louis Murphy the most talented receiver in Oakland? Is that saying much?
6) After how many pass attempts will Iggle fans be chanting for Jeff Garcia to replace Kevin Kolb?
7) Has Jeremy Shockey found an identity in the Saints offense?
8) Is Mark Sanchez anywhere near prepared enough to deal with Belichick's scheming?
9) Will the banged up Giants' secondary be able to clamp down on Romo and the sans-TO Cowboy passing attack?
10) How tight might the leash get for Jason Campbell if he struggles against the Rams "D"?

Last Week: 2-3 (Not my finest work, although it shouldn't be a surprise considering I targeting such big numbers and my favorite...road dogs.)
Upset Special: 0-0 (Didn't find one I liked last week. I will this week...)
Survivor Selection: 1-0 (I had New England over Buffalo and WISHED UPON WISHES I was wrong. I hope Leodis McKelvin never finds true love. Bastard.)

9 INTs in his last two games. Over/under for this weekend is 2. You can't push. What do you do???

TotalProSports.com

Carolina Panthers @ Atlanta Falcons (-6)
I'm picking the Falcons to win the game, as homefield in the NFC is HUGE. Nevertheless, I'm taking John Fox and the Panthers to bust this large number. Despite how putrid Jake Delhomme as last week, the duo of Williams/Stewart will see far more carries. That Steve Smith guy is pretty good too. This should be an entertaining game, with Jason Elam clinching it in the final minutes.

Cleveland Browns @ Denver Broncos (-3)
This screams for a push, which makes me happy it's not a 3 1/2-point line. The Broncos may start 3-0, due to an incredibly crappy schedule. Neither team was impressive last week; however, I feel like Mangini already has built a sinking ship in Cleveland. It's not sour grapes, because Denver stinks too.

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Chicago Bears (+3)
It'd be a mistake to completely write off the Bears at this point. Despite a putrid performance from Cutler, shabby wideout route running, and plenty of missed opportunities, the Bears nearly won a road opener at Green Bay. Meanwhile, Pittsburgh - as championship teams do - squeaked past Tennessee (in the weekend's only OT game), largely without Troy Polamalu. Look for the Bears to target Greg Olsen in the redzone far more and keep it very very close, yet it won't be enough as the Steelers push Bear fans closer to the ledge...and 0-2.

Upset Special #1
Arizona Cardinals @ Jacksonville Jaguars (-3)
I know the Cardinals have a LOT of issues. More than Star Jones. Okay, maybe not that many. Nevertheless, I don't buy Jacksonville. I don't buy Jack Del Rio. Look for the Cardinals - not the savviest of road teams - to keep a back in the backfield to protect Turner and to spread the ball around. The game will be close, in large part due to MJD; however, last season's Super Bowl runner-up will not start 0-2.

Upset Special #2
New York Giants @ Dallas Cowboys (-3)
I love how the Cowboy-hating media (i.e. Skip Bayless & Bob Ryan) are rooting for the scoreboard to get hit three-dozen times, rather than analyzing this stellar Sunday Night Football matchup (take that MNF!!!). As for the game, if Tampa had a credible QB...they might've beaten the Cowboys last week. Despite the home crowd and ridiculously ridiculous stadium, I'm taking the road Giants to squeak by in a potential shootout. Brandon Jacobs will feat on the Dallas D this weekend.

...Survivor Selection... [Gone: New England]
I won't take the Redskins at home against the lowly Rams for a variety of reasons. Mainly because I don't see them as a dominant team and I will always take one in my survivor selection. Instead, I'm going to target to take AD (aka Adrian Peterson) and the Minnesota Vikings- even with that Favre guy - against the Lions. While I don't typically like going for a road team, I also don't mind picking against a team who's lost 18 straight games.

Fantasy Studs and Duds:

...Last Week... [6 out of 11 CORRECT)
Right = Dustin Keller (stud), NY Jets D (stud), Justin Gage (stud), Nate Washington (dud), LenDale White (dud), Joey Galloway (dud)
Wrong = Bernard Berrian (stud), Reggie Bush (stud), Mike Bell (dud...whoops), Patrick Crayton (dud), Heath Miller (dud)

...This Week...

Both Jet RBs are worth a start this weekend.
Credit: MySportsRumors.com

STUDS
1) Leon Washington played well in Foxboro last season and could see 20+ touches this weekend, despite the score. Start him in a flex position with a smile on your face.
2) Greg Olsen was whisper quiet last weekend. So what? It won't be that way this weekend. Mark him down for 70+-yards and a TD.
3) Donald Driver is a nice #2 wideout this week for those lacking wideout depth. Rasheen Mathis will follow Greg Jennings around the field, opening things up for the veteran down field.
4) Darren Sproles is sitting on more benches than you might expect. LT is out and if you drafted him as a handcuff or for depth, it doesn't matter. What does matter is STARTING him and enjoy 25+ touches.

DUDS

Don't start an Oakland wideout this week. Especially Louis Murphy, but ESPECIALLY Jacon Walker.
Maricpoa360.com

1) Louis Murphy isn't ready to be in your starting lineup, even if it's against the Chiefs. That being said, sign him if he's available.
2) Braylon Edwards won't reward that "risk" you took by drafting him this weekend. In fact, he might do that this entire month.
3) Josh Morgan people need to quiet down. It isn't going to happen.
4) Patrick Crayton won't see the endzone this weekend. He won't see the ball inside the 20, actually.

Parting Thought

Darren Sproles is going to have his best chance to showcase his talent, in a franchise-contract season, with the Chargers. Despite last season's playoff breakout against the Colts, this game - against the Baltimore Raven D - may show GM AJ Smith exactly what a future based on Sproles in the backfield may look like. Should be fun.

Ex: EveryJoe.com

Okay, you've earned it...

Credit: Flickr.com

5 Questions to the Editor

Tweet tweet. Pay's most recent 2-round mock is HERE. I plan on having my final mock tonight or early tomorrow. Tweet tweet.

I threw out a dozen-or-so draft-related questions to the editor (aka Pay) and let him decide which ones he'd address. Also a few random thoughts of my own (shocker!) might sneak their way in.

Question #1: Which Louisville prospect is most likely lottery bound: Terrence Williams or Earl Clark?
Pay: Two months ago, I would have said Earl Clark. After workouts, Williams' stock has risen because teams love his versatility. He may also be the best defender in this draft class, and he won't last past the 12th pick.
Clement: It's just as likely both slip into the late lottery, potentially even back-to-back, as they both slip into the late teens. Personally, I question what position and what type of shooting range either possesses on the NBA level. Nevertheless, I agree with Pay about Williams (slightly) over Clark. He seems more equipped to be a leader, a scorer, and a defender.

Question #2: Which second round prospect most intrigues you?
Pay: Danny Green. On the right team and in the right situation with the right coaching, he will be an All-Star. If you watched him at Carolina like I did, he's not short of desire and concentrated power of will. Unlike most other second-round talents, Green is a 94-foot player, and he has steadily improved his jump shot, defense, and demeanor in the last four years.
Clement: A lot of teams are desperate for a point guard, or depth at the position, and the first round offers tons of depth at the position. However, if you're willing to sweat it out in the second round, FSU's Toney Douglas (admittedly a combo guard) might be the Mario Chalmers of this draft. He has a knack for scoring but also distributes well and can continue to improve on defense.

Question #3: Who is the "safest" selection outside the top 5?
Pay: Tyler Hansbrough. According to NBA GMs and anyone with a pulse, he's a known quantity who will work hard and never quit.
Clement: Ty Lawson. While I'm not sure if he can be an elite point guard in the NBA, his speed, quickness, clutch shooting, and overall work effort (especially fighting through injuries) will keep him in this league for 10+ years.

Question #4: Which team has been the most difficult to analyze and predict in the top 10?
Pay: Memphis. What will they do at #2? They have a major need at the center position, but they do not seem enamored with Hasheem Thabeet who skipped out on a workout. Increasingly, I believe that they will select the best player available (Ricky Rubio) and trade him to the highest bidder (Minnesota).
Clement: Golden State. At #7, they are Donnie Walsh's biggest nemesis right now (if the affection for Curry is legit, which it clearly appears to be). The Warriors and their front office perplex me more and more, especially since Don Nelson is still calling most of the shots, with a roster that needs to downsize rather than adding another lottery selection. Filled with tweeners galore, I don't believe Stephen Curry would fall past them at 7. However, assuming he's already gone (likely to Minnesota), I have no idea what this team is thinking. NONE.

Question #5: Is Milwaukee better off drafting a rookie point guard (i.e. Johnny Flynn or Ty Lawson) or resigning Ramon Sessions?
Pay: From a dollars and sense perspective, you draft a point guard in the 1st round. But, Scott Skiles seems to really like Sessions, so I expect the Bucks to make every effort to re-sign him. Do not be shocked if the Bucks draft a point guard with the 10th pick and sign Sessions, only to trade Sessions, Ridnour, or the point guard taken with the 10th pick.
Clement: I have always felt Sessions could be a very very good point guard in this league. No, he isn't going to be CP3, Deron Williams, or Derrick Rose; however, I grade him higher than any point guard in this draft (even on their potential). With that being said, Milwaukee has made a mess of their cap and the trade market for the underrated Sessions may not be too strong. With a nucleus of Bogut, Redd, and Villenueva, I'd re-sign Sessions and trade down in this draft (targeting perhaps the aformetioned Terrence Williams or even Gerald Henderson).

Random Thought
After dealing players and picks with the Wizards (notably Randy Foye and Mike Miller), the Minnesota Timberwolves have the 5th and 6th overall picks in tomorrow night's draft. Question now becomess, is Minnesota looking for the best two players available? The best guard and best forward? What if Thabeet slips to them? Do they envision a Thabeet/Jefferson/Love front line? Are they going with the best two guards, regardless of position? Do they really expect to draft four guys in the 1st round? Might they be the team who deals up to #2 with Memphis for Ricky Rubio? If I were the GM in Memphis, I'd get whatever I could from Minnesota (as long as I liked someone enough at #5), take Rubio, and then deal the Spanish phenom to the land of a thousand lakes.

As for the rest of the day, check out the Twitter feed (don't you always?), as I'm off to Transformers 2 right now. And no critics, I'm not expecting the next Godfather, Citizen Kane, or even Terminator 2. Instead, I'm anticipating quite a bit of this...

In a word...HELLO!!!!
Credit: Megan-Fox.net

I know, I'm a sexist pig. I'll listen to the lecture from Jessie Spano later.
Although, she has a checkered past herself, you know.