Fantasy Analysis: Player Spotlight – Clinton Portis

As the fantasy football season rapidly approaches, more and more people have finally sucked up their pride and dished out $7-8 for a fantasy football magazine (or six!).

In most of them you’ll find the typical garbage each is trying to sell you as “insider information”.

Buyer beware!!!

If you’re lucky, you’ll find a staff of writers (of whom you think you might have heard of one or two of them before) partaking in a mock draft and mentioning a few sleepers or busts.

Savvy analysis galore!!!

While we all dole out the bones for it, where are the individual player perspectives? Forget the lunacy of projecting player statistics over a season or even declaring one back “the next big thing” and another a “complete and utter bust”. That's a crapshoot at best. AT BEST!

How many mags can I get for this puppy?
Credit: Smoking Gun

Why not instead check out PHSports for savvy analysis with a PUNCH (and maybe a humorous clip from YouTube hidden in each post)???

Glad you decided to stick around...

Today’s focus is on a man entering his fifth (yes, fifth) season with the burgundy and gold…Clinton Portis...aka Southeast Jerome, Coach Janky Spanky, Bro Sweets, Choo-Cho, Sheriff Gonnagetcha, and Dolemite Jenkins.

Crazy personas and post-game hijinx aside, let’s take a look at what you might expect from the man who offered up this gem…

In defense of Michael Vick, Portis said, "I don't know if he was fighting dogs or not, but it's his property, it's his dog," Portis told WAVY-TV. "If that's what he wants to do, do it." He then added, "I think people should mind their business." He was then asked if dog-fighting is prevalent in the NFL, and Portis answered, "I mean it's prevalent in life... I'm from Laurel, Mississippi. I know a lot of back roads that got the dog fight if you want to go see it."

Likely slotted in most draft boards in the early-to-mid second round (give or take a half-dozen picks or so), plenty of people - from Skins haters to Portis doubters - may have a hard time selecting him as their team’s #1-back.

While I have been quite skeptical in season’s past of Southeast Jerome, let me cut out the numbers (sorry Stat Boys) and give you some cold hard facts as to why you SHOULD make a run, earlier than expected, at the former Hurricane.

Anyone home to this "jingle" has loved it from Day 1.

5 Reasons to DRAFT Clinton Portis:

1) Jim Zorn’s offense should be a lot more vertical than those of year’s past in DC. If the Skins are wise, they’ll use their incredible depth at the TE position to spread the middle of the field to open more lanes around the tackles for Portis to use his speed to cruise deep downfield.

Kid Bro Sweets will likely love what Zorn's offense brings to his number of touches.

Credit: BP3

2) Despite rushing right under 4.0 yds/carry last season, Portis plunged in for 11 rushing TDs last season (despite not breaking open too many big plays). Any time you have a back who can go for multiple rushing TDs (keep in mind he also caught a career-high 47 passes), you draft him without flinching

.

Choo-Cho is targeting a dozen rush TDs...at least!
Credit: Deadspin

3) Tabbed as the 11^th overall talent on Brandon Funston’s Yahoo! Fantasy Board, Portis had an, “impressive show of production, durability, and consistency (in 2007)”. In leagues dominated by backs, he’d be a potentially sick-nasty #2 RB to pile onto an already talented #1.

Dollah Bill a first-round pick? Believe it!!!

Credit: Yahoo! Sports

4) Free Range. Portis can do no wrong in the eyes of owner Daniel “Wonder Boy” Snyder. He got his way when Coach Gibbs was calling the shots, so how do you expect Jim Zorn to tell Clinton anything he doesn’t want? Portis seems more than willing to take himself in and out of games…when healthy, at least...whenever he sees fit.

I wonder who Dolemite Jenkins is voting for in November?
Credit: Redskins.com

5) Jason Campbell has been the talk of the national press – and to a lesser extent local press – out of Skins camp. Entering his third year as a starter, Campbell’s physical attributes are simply waiting for his playmaking and decision making skills to catch up.

Coach Janky Spanky is gonna do more than take a BITE outta crime!
Credit: Redskins.com

I’m sure I could peg out more than a dozen reasons, or hilarious pictures, describing and depicting why you should wait on drafting Portis too early and hope he slips a round or two below your pre-draft expectations.

However, I’ll leave that to my loyal readers.

All 8 of them.

Until next time…and next fantasy analysis.